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Signs you might be experiencing menopause 1. Hot Flashes: You sell your home heating system at a yard sale. 2. Night Sweats: The person you sleep with complains about snow piling up on the bed. 3. Mood Swings: Your husband jokes that instead of buying a wood stove, he is using you to heat the family room this winter. Rather than just saying you are not amused, you shoot him. 4. Memory Loss: You write post-it notes with your kid's names on them. 5. Irritability: Your husband chirps, "Hi honey, I'm home," and your reply is, "Well, if it isn't Ozzie Nelson." 6. Sleeplessness: The Phenobarbital dose that wiped out the Heaven's Gate Cult gives you four hours of decent rest. 7. Fatigue: You find Guacamole in your hair after a Mexican dinner. 8. Mild Incontinence: You change your underwear after every sneeze. 9. Sudden Weight Gain: You need the 'Jaws Of Life' to help you out of your car after returning home from an Italian restaurant. 10. Dryness: You ask Jiffy Lube to put you up on a hoist. 11. Female Hormone Deficiency: You take a sudden interest in "Wrestlemania" . 12. Hormone Therapy: You're on so much estrogen that you take your Brownie troop on a field trip to Chippendales |