My dick is so big...


...there's still snow on it in the summertime.
...I went to a club, my dick got right in, I had to stand there and argue with the doorman.
...I have to call it Mr. Dick in front of company.
...it won't return Spielberg's calls.
...it graduated a year ahead of me in high school.
...it has an elevator and a lobby.
...it has better credit than I do.
...clowns come out of it when I cum.
...it was once overthrown by a military coo. It's now known as the Democratic Republic Of My Dick.
...it has casters.
...I'm already fuckin' a girl tomorrow.
...ships use it to find their way into the harbor.
...there was a movie called Godzilla VS. My Dick.
...it lives next door.
...I enterd it in the Big Dick contest, it came in 1st, 2nd & 3rd.
...it floats!
...is a better dresser than I am.
...it has a three picture deal.
...the head of it has only seen my balls in pictures.
...Henry Aaron used it to hit his 750th home run.
...it runs the 4/40 in 15 seconds.
...it's The Walrus, goo goo goo-joob!
...no matter where I go, my dick always gets there first.
...it takes longer lunches than I do.
...it contributed $50,000 to the Democratic National Commitee.
...it was once ambassador to China.
...it's gone CONDO!
...it hit .370 in the minors before it hurt it's knee.
...I use the Eiffel Tower as a French tickler.
...when it rains the head doesn't get wet.
...I could wear it as a tie if I wasn't so afraid of getting a hard on and killing myself.
...I have to use an elastic zipper.
...it has feet!
...a homeless family lives underneath it.
...it takes four fat women and a team of Clydesdales to jack me off.
...my mother was in labor for three extra days.
...they have to use the bullet train to test my condoms.
...it has investors.
...it seats six!
...I use a hula hoop as a cock-ring.
...I use it at parties as a limbo pole.
...King Kong is gonna crawl up it in the next remake.
...it has an opening act.
...I can fuck an elevator shaft.
...it has it's own Wheaties box.
...I have to cook it breakfast in the mornings.
...the city had to carve a hole in the middle of it so cars can get through.
...everytime I get hard I cause a solar eclipse.
...it only plays arenas.
...if you cut it in two, you can tell how old I am.
...it was set on fire for a Dino De Laurentis movie.
...it needs an airplane warning light.
...Trump owns it.
...we're all a part of it and it's all a part of us.
...I can never sit in the front row.
...it has it's own dick. And even my dick's dick is bigger than your dick.
...you can't blow me without a ladder.
...it only does one show a night (this can vary)
...you can ski down it.
...it has an elbow.
...I have to check it's luggage when I fly.
...it has a personal trainer.
...that right now it's in the other room fixing us drinks.
...it has a retractable dome.
...it has stairs up the center like the Statue of Liberty.
...there's a sneaker named "Air: My Dick"
...I'm it's bitch.
...it's against the law to fuck me without protective head gear.
...I could fuck a tuba.
...Stephen Hawking has a theory about it.
...it has it's own gravity.
...NASA once sent a probe in search for the tip of my dick.
...it's impossible to see all of it without a satellite.
...the inside contains billions and billions of stars.
...it has a spine.
...it has a basement.
...movie theaters now sell popcorn in small, medium, large and my dick.
...it's more muscular than I am.
...it has cable.
...it violates 17 zoning laws.
...it has it's own page in the Sierra Club calendar.
...it has a fifty yard-line.
...I was once in Ohio and got a blow job in Tenessee.
...Las Vegas casinos fly it into town for free.
...I can braid it.
...that when it's Easter Standard Time at the tip, it's Central Mountain Time at my balls.
...I could sit on it.
...it can chew gum.
...it only tips with "hundreds".
...the Carnegie Deli named a sandwich after it...actually two sandwiches!
...the city was gonna build a statue of it but they ran out of cement.
...Michael Jackson wants to build an amusement park on it.
...When I get a hard-on my eyebrows get pulled down to my neck.
...you're standing on it.
...it only comes to work when it feels like it.
...it charges money for it's autograph.
...it has an agent. My dick's people will call your people. Let's have lunch with my dick.
...it's right behind you.

ENJOY!